One of Hollywood's most simultaneously exciting yet boring couples was at Beso last night to eat and feign annoyance when they were mobbed by photographers.
Check out Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel looking stone-faced as they jump in his BMW and head home:
It's nice to see that Justin is better able to control his anti-paparazzi temper these days.... but homeboy seems to have lost his spunk altogether. Do these two actually talk to each other anymore? Or share a laugh once every five days?
They've only been together a year and a half...not thirty!
Let's just hope things are a little or a lot more animated than this between the sheets...
Lily Allen did what any girl would do after getting burned 30 times by the same dude, a different guy, his brother, their distant cousin, and his asshole friend. She got a doggy!
The British pop star walked her new newly rescued pup, Mabel, around London yesterday while en route to record her second album at a nearby studio.
Looking at these pictures is making me miss my cat. As Lily is clearly learning, blind, undiscriminating love can really only be found in a few rare places.
After flexing his guns at the gym yesterday, John Mayer shifted back into 'artist' mode for a post-workout meal with his new best friendPete Wentz.
The poser and newlywed hit up Magnolia's Restaurant in Hollywood, where they chatted about the giant hassle of being popular. All those women they have to ward off. The ex-girlfriends who want them back. How jealous Ashlee Simpson and Jen Aniston get. The many bands that worship them. And all those damn party invites and free clothes to deal with, ugh. When all they really want to do...is make music, bro.
**Sigh**
Um, did I mention that Magnolia is located at 6969 Mediawhore Street, Hollywood?
On side note, if I have to look at John Mayer's tattoo one more time, I think I'll puke. I don't care that it's so cute how he matches tatted-up Petey. If he doesn't get it removed or start wearing long sleeves soon, boy's getting cotted.
Pictures of the bromantical pair after the jump...
So I know I've reported on this like 10 times already, but it's just too much fun.
Nicole Richie was spotted going to traffic school in L.A. today....kinda like we saw her doing in early May, and again in late May. Why? Because she sucks. And because, every so often, our justice system delivers.
The law, it can be a beautiful thing when it's robbing the time, money, and pride of rich worthless people instead of winners like you and me.
Last night while leaving Foxtail Lounge, Cristiano Ronaldo was so anxious to get into his limo that he straight knocked a paparazzo over....crutches and all.
And
thank goodness for those crutches, because they've given Cristiano all
the excuses he needs to party his ass of for the three months that his
right ankle is out of commission.
STK, Villa, Foxtail, Beso, red carpet premieres - the Manchester United soccer star has been hitting Hollywood as hard as Beckham since touching down in L.A. last week.
Actually, harder: unlike my David, the Portugese hottie is newly single and ready for action.
Just in time for his California partyfest, Cristiano dumped his
Spanish girlfriend two weeks ago, supposedly because she was a whore
who didn't get along with his mom.
But don't let his eurotrash appearance fool you - homeboy isn't willing to rebound with just anybody. Last week a Benji-less (and Benji, who?) Paris Hilton got the cold shoulder when she attempted to giz her airheady charm on the soccer star.
'Paris was all over him. But Ronaldo clearly wasn't interested in Paris. He turned his back on her,' The Daily Mail reports.
Okay, okay, so the dis earns Ronaldo a nod of approval. But it's going to take a lot more than that for homeboy to really wax class. Like getting a whole new
wardrobe. That would be a good start...
Mariah Carey showed up for MTV's TRL in New York yesterday
looking hot for 38, but like she'd just stepped out of a 1995 high school dance.
That, or she just got done raiding the twelve-year old section at 'Forever 21'...
Homegirl's outfit is cheesier than Brie. How much do you think she pays her stylist to do buttfucking nothing?
I'll rephrase that. How the F much do you think Mariah Carey pays her stylist to lie to her?
'Yes, the tummy-tie blouse you've been wearing since the 80's is a
timeless piece. No, the belly chains aren't out of style. Are you
kidding? The 6-inch, diamond encrusted heels match perfectly! And everyone is wearing pastel, tie-died denim these days. Of course you don't look tacky!'
What was I thinking going to a real college? I should have just
gone to ass-kissing academy and gotten my degree in how to get rich
making other people look bad.
Sophie Monk and her Baywatch body narrowly avoided a bikini malfunction when spotted tanning and surfing in Malibu yesterday.
No joke - if you look closely, you can actually catch a glimpse of her (surprisingly) unshaved vajayjay in this picture.
Sophie considers herself a singer and actress but chances are you've only heard of her because she's hot and she dated lots of famous guys.
Last night the Benji Madden and Jude Law ex hit up a Coldplay concert with Ryan Seacrest...who she has been spotted on not one, not two, but three dates already.
In Hollywood, when you are spotted on four dates in 3 months, that means one of two things...
(a) you are kinda serious
or...
(b) you are brilliant media whores using each other to crawl onto that A list (you hope).
Ryan's too busy to get serious and Sophie's too desperate to commit to a B-lister, so I'm putting my money on (b). What do you think?
Before all this business with assaulting his mom and sister, Christian Bale seemed like a pretty peaceful guy.
Like in December, when he was mauled by fans and paparazzi during a
visit to Santa Monica. Homeboy stayed calm, joked around, signed autographs for
about three hundred fans, and patiently walked through crowds before
meeting up with his wife Sibi Blazic. Check it out above.
Okay, so he jokingly call the paparazzi 'assholes.' But still, he seems pretty effing patient.
Was Sunday's 'incident' a vast understanding
between him and the fam, or is Christian some sort of real-life American
psycho???
Here's 'unpretentious' John Mayer heading to an L.A. gym, so that he can make his muscles big and his ego even bigger.
Gotta keep that body looking studdly if he wants to keep 'Tushie' happy. Yes, I'm referring to Jennifer Aniston and her hot cougar ass. Yes, he actually calls her that. And it gets worse, according to The National Ledger:
'According to a report from Star
Magazine the two already have nicknames for each other, citing a
source. Jen calls John "Mayo" since he loves mayonnaise sandwiches
(which are also a childhood favorite of hers), while he refers to Jen
as "Tushie" because of her squeezable backside.
The magazine reports that they even have
customized ring tones! "When she calls, 'Pretty Woman' plays," says
the source. "And his hit, 'Gravity', plays when he calls her. It's
adorable, but it drives their friends crazy!" '
Uh, yeah. I'm burping up my breakfast already and I've only been reading about this for like three seconds. Courtney Cox deserves a medal.
