It's 2008, Mariah, not 1995

Mariah Carey showed up for MTV's TRL in New York yesterday looking hot for 38, but like she'd just stepped out of a 1995 high school dance.  

That, or she just got done raiding the twelve-year old section at 'Forever 21'...

Homegirl's outfit is cheesier than Brie. How much do you think she pays her stylist to do buttfucking nothing?

I'll rephrase that.  How the F much do you think Mariah Carey pays her stylist to lie to her?

• 'Yes, the tummy-tie blouse you've been wearing since the 80's is a timeless piece.  No, the belly chains aren't out of style.  Are you kidding?  The 6-inch, diamond encrusted heels match perfectly!  And everyone is wearing pastel, tie-died denim these days.  Of course you don't look tacky!'

What was I thinking going to a real college?  I should have just gone to ass-kissing academy and gotten my degree in how to get rich making other people look bad.