John Mayer Builds his Wonderland For Tushie

Here's 'unpretentious' John Mayer heading to an L.A. gym, so that he can make his muscles big and his ego even bigger. 

Gotta keep that body looking studdly if he wants to keep 'Tushie' happy.  Yes, I'm referring to Jennifer Aniston and her hot cougar ass.  Yes, he actually calls her that.  And it gets worse, according to The National Ledger:

• 'According to a report from Star Magazine the two already have nicknames for each other, citing a source.  Jen calls John "Mayo" since he loves mayonnaise sandwiches (which are also a childhood favorite of hers), while he refers to Jen as "Tushie" because of her squeezable backside.
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• The magazine reports that they even have customized ring tones!  "When she calls, 'Pretty Woman' plays," says the source.  "And his hit, 'Gravity', plays when he calls her.  It's adorable, but it drives their friends crazy!" '

Uh, yeah.  I'm burping up my breakfast already and I've only been reading about this for like three seconds.  Courtney Cox deserves a metal.